Healing Maladaptive Core Beliefs for Each Attachment Style

Dr. Jacob Ambrose
Jun 20
3 min read

by Dr. Jacob Ambrose

Young Woman In Grey Sweater Making Namaste Pose

Understanding the Link Between Attachment Styles and Core Beliefs

At the heart of every attachment pattern is a set of deep, often unspoken beliefs about ourselves and others. These "core beliefs" shape how we connect, trust, and experience closeness. When shaped by early wounds, they can become maladaptive—fueling anxiety, avoidance, or fear in relationships.

But here’s the good news: healing is absolutely possible. Through therapy—whether in person or online—you can start to challenge these old patterns and form new, healthier beliefs.

🔍 Quick Recap: What Are Attachment Styles?

There are four main attachment styles:

Anxious Attachment
Avoidant Attachment
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment
Secure Attachment

Most people seeking therapy are often navigating challenges connected to one of the first three. Let’s dive into how maladaptive core beliefs show up in each—and what healing can look like.

💬 Anxious Attachment: “If I’m not needed, I’ll be abandoned.”

Maladaptive Core Beliefs

“If I’m not good enough, people will leave me.”
“My relationships only survive with constant reassurance and communication.”

These beliefs often stem from inconsistent caregiving in childhood—times when love was given, but unpredictably.

Healing Core Beliefs

“My worth isn’t based on how others respond to me.”
“I am enough, even when I’m not being rescued.”
“Relationships can be secure without constant proof.”

✅ CBT, dynamic therapy, and attachment based counseling can be powerful tools in helping anxious individuals reframe these beliefs and cultivate a secure foundation for connection.

🛡️ Avoidant Attachment: “I can’t depend on anyone but myself.”

Maladaptive Core Beliefs

“Others can’t be trusted to meet my needs.”
“If I open up, I’ll be hurt or controlled.”

Avoidant attachment often grows out of experiences where vulnerability led to disappointment or emotional neglect.

Healing Core Beliefs

“Being hurt in the past doesn’t mean vulnerability is unsafe now.”
“I can be independent and emotionally connected.”
“True intimacy allows space for both strength and softness.”

At Restore Psychology, we support avoidant clients in learning how to safely let others in—on their own terms—with the support of evidence-based therapy approaches like CBT and relational dynamic therapy.

🌀 Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: “Love hurts, but I still crave it.”

Maladaptive Core Beliefs

“People will hurt me if I get too close.”
“I’m not worthy of love unless I prove myself.”
“Closeness always ends in pain.”

This attachment style usually stems from deeply painful relational experiences—where caregivers were both a source of love and fear.

Healing Core Beliefs

“Love doesn’t have to feel like a battlefield.”
“It’s safe to believe in the possibility of healing relationships.”
“I am capable of giving and receiving love without losing myself.”

Even if your past taught you to associate closeness with danger, it’s possible to rewrite that story through therapy that meets you with compassion and consistency.

📍 Therapy That Helps You Break Free From Old Patterns

Whether you're seeking therapy for anxious attachment, avoidant issues, or navigating the confusion of fearful attachment—you’re not alone, and your patterns are not permanent.

At Restore Psychology, Dr. Jacob Ambrose offers in-person therapy in San Diego and online therapy for California residents, making healing more accessible than ever.

🔑 FAQs: Therapy for Attachment Issues in San Diego

Do you offer in-person or online therapy? ✅ Yes—Restore Psychology offers both in-person therapy in San Diego and online sessions throughout California.

Do you take insurance? ✅ Yes—therapy services are available for clients with Aetna, Anthem Blue Cross, Blue Shield, Magellan and United Healthcare.

Is Christian counseling available? ✅ Absolutely. For clients who wish to integrate their faith, Dr. Ambrose offers Christian therapy rooted in compassion and grace.